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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 2:57 pm 
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Just remember you are not the important person on the night,act as a linkman,be relaxed,do some material,enjoy it,don't panic or worry!
Easy huh???

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:02 pm 
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and if its going badly, use the line "im the compere tonight, because compared to the other acts ... im shit".

gales of laughter guaranteed.

[huh]

Rich

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:19 pm 
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Interpretive dance

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:20 pm 
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The Mighty Prawn wrote:
Interpretive dance

Is this the new *hamster mime*?

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:22 pm 
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Don't you 'ferret' about it.

Thankyouverymuch.

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:26 pm 
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Nick P wrote:
Don't you 'ferret' about it.

Thankyouverymuch.

That's weasel-y the worst pun of the day, stoat-aly awful.

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:27 pm 
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I thought it was in-guineau-ous.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:59 pm 
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God, you boys were wild back in '04. Puns an' everyfink! :lol:

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 Post subject: The hardass school.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:19 pm 
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What you do and how you handle it will depend on what acts you've got on, how good they are, how well they're doing and the general vibe of the night. I like to take an aggresive but on-side approach. My general technique is to walk on stage, bang the microphone and tell everyone to sit down and shut the f**** up. In your introduction, pick on the frailest, most scared/gormless looking person in the audience and really make a tit out of him or her. They won't be expecting that from the word go and if someone is really humiliated and the audience laugh at his/her pain they will be less likely to cause trouble later on. Then tell a few good jokes and introduce the first act. In between acts don't hold back from insulting acts that have just been on. As a general rule of respect, unless someone really really dies, don't insult their comedy - stick to personal remarks about how they're dressed, how they look, anything bad about them. This gives the audience a sense that you are there with them watching the acts rather than being an act yourself and, if you are better than, for example, the headliner or even those on before it ensures you won't dominate them (which you shouldn't if your compering.) If anybody heckles an act note who it is (if possible) and when you get back on mercilessly shoot them to the ground (even if they shut up when you return). If an act has really died then it's best to save the back pats for backstage, if you publically defend them while you're compering the audience will associate you with their weakness and that will undermine both you and the other acts you introduce.
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 Post subject: Re: The hardass school.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 4:37 pm 
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edo'meara wrote:
What you do and how you handle it will depend on what acts you've got on, how good they are, how well they're doing and the general vibe of the night. I like to take an aggresive but on-side approach. My general technique is to walk on stage, bang the microphone and tell everyone to sit down and shut the f**** up. In your introduction, pick on the frailest, most scared/gormless looking person in the audience and really make a tit out of him or her. They won't be expecting that from the word go and if someone is really humiliated and the audience laugh at his/her pain they will be less likely to cause trouble later on. Then tell a few good jokes and introduce the first act. In between acts don't hold back from insulting acts that have just been on. As a general rule of respect, unless someone really really dies, don't insult their comedy - stick to personal remarks about how they're dressed, how they look, anything bad about them. This gives the audience a sense that you are there with them watching the acts rather than being an act yourself and, if you are better than, for example, the headliner or even those on before it ensures you won't dominate them (which you shouldn't if your compering.) If anybody heckles an act note who it is (if possible) and when you get back on mercilessly shoot them to the ground (even if they shut up when you return). If an act has really died then it's best to save the back pats for backstage, if you publically defend them while you're compering the audience will associate you with their weakness and that will undermine both you and the other acts you introduce.


Not quite sure if you're joking or not...

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 Post subject: Re: The hardass school.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:43 pm 
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paranoidgit wrote:
edo'meara wrote:
What you do and how you handle it will depend on what acts you've got on, how good they are, how well they're doing and the general vibe of the night. I like to take an aggresive but on-side approach. My general technique is to walk on stage, bang the microphone and tell everyone to sit down and shut the f**** up. In your introduction, pick on the frailest, most scared/gormless looking person in the audience and really make a tit out of him or her. They won't be expecting that from the word go and if someone is really humiliated and the audience laugh at his/her pain they will be less likely to cause trouble later on. Then tell a few good jokes and introduce the first act. In between acts don't hold back from insulting acts that have just been on. As a general rule of respect, unless someone really really dies, don't insult their comedy - stick to personal remarks about how they're dressed, how they look, anything bad about them. This gives the audience a sense that you are there with them watching the acts rather than being an act yourself and, if you are better than, for example, the headliner or even those on before it ensures you won't dominate them (which you shouldn't if your compering.) If anybody heckles an act note who it is (if possible) and when you get back on mercilessly shoot them to the ground (even if they shut up when you return). If an act has really died then it's best to save the back pats for backstage, if you publically defend them while you're compering the audience will associate you with their weakness and that will undermine both you and the other acts you introduce.


Not quite sure if you're joking or not...


I was quoting an earlier post when I temporarily forgot how to use technology. I wasn't sure if that guy was joking either.

I compared recently at the 99 club in islington and it was delicious and friendly. Freedom to experiment and chase tangents is refreshing.

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 Post subject: doh
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:45 pm 
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Having re-read Kevin's post, I'd suggest that it's quite clearly a joke.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:57 pm 
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Kevin wrote
Quote:
I like to take an aggresive but on-side approach. My general technique is to walk on stage, bang the microphone and tell everyone to sit down and shut the f**** up. In your introduction, pick on the frailest, most scared/gormless looking person in the audience and really make a tit out of him or her.


Also, if you're ever introducing a Comedienneremember that most people will feel confused and afraid by the sight of someone who may have ovaries. You should always give them a special introduction, something like "and now we have a special treat for you, our next act is a... woman".

The same goes if the act is black.

If a gig isn't going well always remember there's nothing funnier than exposing your genitals*. Remember the golden rule "if I've got a mike, how can it be sexual assault?."

* or as it's known in the trade "pulling a Crosby"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:14 pm 
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D'Chapeau wrote:
Also, if you're ever introducing a Comedienne remember that most people will feel confused and afraid by the sight of someone who may have ovaries. You should always give them a special introduction, something like "and now we have a special treat for you, our next act is a... woman".

The same goes if the act is black.


S'right. Misogyny and racism are de rigeur for the aspiring 'big name' in the sweaty, vommit-stained, no refunds waltzer ride they called 'Show Biz'.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:02 pm 
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Kevin wrote:
What you do and how you handle it will depend on what acts you've got on, how good they are, how well they're doing and the general vibe of the night. I like to take an aggresive but on-side approach. My general technique is to walk on stage, bang the microphone and tell everyone to sit down and shut the f**** up. In your introduction, pick on the frailest, most scared/gormless looking person in the audience and really make a tit out of him or her. They won't be expecting that from the word go and if someone is really humiliated and the audience laugh at his/her pain they will be less likely to cause trouble later on. Then tell a few good jokes and introduce the first act. In between acts don't hold back from insulting acts that have just been on. As a general rule of respect, unless someone really really dies, don't insult their comedy - stick to personal remarks about how they're dressed, how they look, anything bad about them. This gives the audience a sense that you are there with them watching the acts rather than being an act yourself and, if you are better than, for example, the headliner or even those on before it ensures you won't dominate them (which you shouldn't if your compering.) If anybody heckles an act note who it is (if possible) and when you get back on mercilessly shoot them to the ground (even if they shut up when you return). If an act has really died then it's best to save the back pats for backstage, if you publically defend them while you're compering the audience will associate you with their weakness and that will undermine both you and the other acts you introduce.


You forgot this bit:

"I'm hungry. Let's go get a taco"

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