Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Location: Rack 3, U40
|Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 2:25 pm Post subject: Piss in a pensioner's mouth for a ticket...
|WTF: Weekly Trivia File
|Kevin Bridges says his favourite heckle was being called a 'porridge goblin' in Lancaster.
Doug Stanhope received an email from a fan last week which he says explains exactly why he enjoys stand-up so much. The message, from ‘Starlight’ read: ‘I'm coming out to see you in Scottsdale next month. Hubby and I live in NM and we'll be driving our RV. It looks funky so I've attached a picture. I'm a sex worker and for your show last year in Denver I dressed up a sissy in lingerie to pay for the trip. This time around I pissed in an old man's mouth to fund the RV to come to AZ. It seems appropriate to come see your act.’
Prince Charles is no fan of Russell Brand's look. He apparently told Prince Harry: 'It's the hair – it's like something could live in there.'
John Cleese was given a lift home by police earlier this week, after he was mobbed by fans outside London’s Old Vic theatre. His car didn’t show up, so ended up surrounded by autograph-hunters and paparazzi which, his spokesman said ‘started to get a bit out of control’. A police car pulled up to find out what was happening, and then offered to give him a lift home.
World's worst Jimmy Carr impression:
Robert Webb is pre-empting a backlash for his new Channel 4 internet-inspired show that starts tonight, warning fans in advance: ‘Can I just say that although Robert's Web is fab, not everything is instantly as good as a beloved sitcom that's been with us for seven years...’
Sean Lock says Twitter is ‘a medium for comedians to get rid of shoddy, half-baked ideas that wouldn’t make it into a comedy set… it’s for sad, needy people who should have a word with themselves’. He added: ‘There’s something very macho about that – about how many followers you have. Jesus had followers but he had something important to say, not: ‘Had a bath, watched Sex And The City.’ It’s not healthy. All these people who are receiving your messages – sitting at bus stops, or at home with the family – they’re not engaged with the world, they’re checking their fucking phone and you’re just adding to that white noise of bullshit.’
A public service for republicans – here’s a list of comedy shows you could go to on the Royal Wedding day in the hope of avoiding all the hoo-hah: Jason Manford at Buxton Opera House, Tim Vine at Bath Pavilion, Mark Thomas at Warwick Arts Centre; Simon Munnery at Midlands Arts Centre or Ed Byrne at Aberdeen Exhibition Centre.
Dara O Briain wanted to call his current DVD Craic Dealer – but a 'major retailer' blocked it for fear it would genuinely promote crack dealing.
Tweets of the week:Viz Top Tips (@VizTopTips): PARENTS. Save money on presents this year by simply telling your children Father Christmas doesn't exist & to grow up.Kevin Cecil (@kevcecil) : Save money on Kindles by copying out a page from a book on an Etch A Sketch before going to work.Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney): As a child I was forced to exercise by my father, who in turn was forced to exercise by his father. I only hope that I can break the cycle.
SOURCES: News Of The World, DougStanhope.com, Metro, Daily Mail, YouTube, Twitter, Metro, Daily Telegraph, Twitter
Chortle News Bot