Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Location: Rack 3, U40
|Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:40 am Post subject: 'Smushing up my nuts'
|WTF: Weekly Trivia File
|‘Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny. Every time you think of something funny, you're not enjoying it, you're not laughing at it, you're rooting for a notebook and thinking, “How do I squeeze this bit in, and segue into that?”’ Doug Stanhope.
Russell Brand might have received a critical pounding for the Arthur remake – but that was nothing compared to the physical mauling he got from co-star Nick Nolte, who kept crushing his genitals in one horse riding scene. In typically florid language, Brand recalls: ‘He helps Arthur on the horse, using his testicles as a fulcrum – my testicles. In a film, you have to do things numerous times to achieve perfection, well Nick Nolte, each time he done it, he'd smush up my nuts and after I'd go, “Oh Nick, you did that thing again when you smushed in my nuts….” I kept asking him not to do it but he continued to do it; I think because he liked it. By the end of the day I simply had one testicle.’
Steve Coogan went to Prime Minister's Questions last week, the guest of Labour MP Gloria De Piero. But he turned up in jeans and without a tie – both transgressions of Commons laws. Luckily, he managed to scrounge a tie as officials ordered him to remain seated to obscure MPs’ views of his offending trousers.
A classy way to shut down a heckler:
Motley Crue rocker Vince Neil is not the sort of punter you want in your comedy audience, He has been charged with domestic violence and disorderly conduct after comedian Hal Sparks' show at the Las Vegas Hilton, yelling obscenities aimed at his TV reporter ex-girlfriend Alicia Jacobs and one of her pals, who were in the audience.
Alan Carr on life on the road: ‘I love being on the stage but you get kicked out of your hotel at midday… That’s why I have put on weight, eating all the time. But then you go to tractor museums, hat museums, just to kill the time – it’s so depressing.’
Tweets of the week:@mattkirshen: "Why is it men can never find the knee?" - Victorian stand-up comedy.jacques_aih: I'm watching a live stream from Augusta. I just hope she mops it up afterwards.TonyCowards: I've written a joke about an enormous candle, it's a slow burner.
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